Life on Life's terms

I woke up this morning in a bad mood. I don't know how this happens before I even get to focus my eyes, get out of bed, and make coffee. I do my usually things that I do every morning after coffee and feeding the cats. I sit down, pray, read something inspirational, and today, I did yoga.
Then it starts. My race through the day; feeling like I'm running the gauntlet---all the time!

I don't want to do, what I don't want to do. I had to run errands, go to the post office, and the foot doctor. I'm getting angry with all this physical therapy, feeling like it's a waste of time. Not to mention money. Sure, I have an insurance co-pay, but at twice a week I really don't have the money for it! And every time I go in there, I'm politely reminded of the fact that I owe them money for the "wonderful" night splint that insurance was suppose to cover, and due to red tape, the unexplainable details and terms of service, plus being an uninformed responsible patient, I'm stuck with the cost!
I must back up here a minute and mention that my anger probably started last night, just as I was dozing off, the bank, (that holds my car loan) called as a "courtesy call" to ask me why I haven't sent my payment in yet. And then proceeded to needle me with questions. Hey, how do I even know for sure that this was a bank representative that I was talking to? BTW: there is a grace period, where I can still make my payment as on time before I have to pay an additional fee. I am still within that period, and (as they say) the check's in the mail.

So how do I deal with "life on life's terms"? I try to live my life as, "live and let live". I try to live in the present, keeping things in the now. I try to have gratitude for what I have. And I try to help others. Especially when I'm wrapped up in my own head, I most always will call a friend. In reaching out to others, I find that I sometimes can help them. I find out too, sometimes that my crap is nothing compared to what someone else might be dealing with.
The biggest thing, I must admit is that acceptance is the one thing I must do in order to deal with life on life's terms. I must accept myself, others, and situations just as they are. The only thing I can change is myself, and my attitude.
And this is not an easy task! I must do this daily, everyday; sometimes more than once a day. I continue to pray, to have faith, and put my trust in God. Everyday is a new day, where we get a chance to begin again.

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Anonymous said…
Gosh Cindy, I needed that. You are not alone sister!
The Fab Miss B said…
Hang in there Cindy! Every day is a journey and being present is the hardest but most worthwhile task you can assign yourself. I struggle with it too, but when you really focus on your blessings they can overwhelm and envelop everything else.

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